Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It's Going to be a White Christmas (not a blue one)

First storm of the season is upon us ... the wind is howling ... the snow is falling. I sure wish I could stay home and do Christmassy things today, like baking and wrapping. Ok, so maybe I've only bought 3 or 4 things so far, but I could totally wrap them. :o)





I managed to get the house all decorated last week, including switching to Christmas dishes. As I rummaged around in the basement I came across 3 boxes covered in Christmas paper ... 3 boxes that I haven't opened in 3 years. They contain my mother's old Christmas tree ornaments ... some of which she had since the 1940's. I remember how magical these ornaments looked on the tree. When I was young, I never saw the tree being trimmed - I always woke up one morning to a beautiful, magical tree in the living room. Those ornaments are so old now, even my mother wasn't putting them on her tree anymore ... she nestled them all so carefully in these 3 boxes though. When I took the boxes my intent was that each of my sisters and I would take one box, and we still have to do that. Although these would never withstand shipping or even going on an airplane so sister D's box will have to wait until someone tackles the 15 hour drive to my home town.

So I had myself a good cry, and I decided to capture the memory while the ornaments were still intact. I took pictures of them so carefully nestled in their boxes, and then I chose 3 to hang on my tree. See the big pink ball (I used to fantasize these were gumballs, lol) and the bird perched on the tree limb?


See the pretty blown glass "copper" teapot?


Please don't think of this as a sad post though. I don't have the Christmas blues. I may have shed some tears when I came across the ornaments - sometimes missing Mom hits me like a big wave - but there is a lot more to smile about than to cry about. Mom loved Christmas and made it such a magical time for us. When I decorate my house, and bake cookies, and wrap presents, I carry on a tradition that was passed on to me, if not explicitly, then by osmosis ... I just took it all in every year growing up and knew that I wanted to recreate Christmas magic for my own family some day. I used to really go overboard in the early years ... I've joked that I thought I was Martha Stewart, but in truth I think I thought I was my mother.

For a couple of years after my sister C passed away (on Christmas Day) I just couldn't put my heart into Christmas. In the end that kind of pressed the reset button for me where Christmas is concerned, and brought a bit of sanity back to the holiday. I'm reconciled now to the fact that I won't ever be able to do all my mother did - hey, I'll be happy if I make one kind of cookie this year, I'll never pressure myself again to make dozens each of at least a dozen different kinds. I'll do Christmas my own way, incorporating some new traditions with the old. And hopefully when my kids grow up (yes, I am denying that one of them already is grown up) they will have fond memories of their childhood Christmases and while they won't feel pressure to do things exactly the way I did them, they'll pick and choose the things that make them feel warm and fuzzy, and add new things to make Christmas all their own.

Whew, sucky post. But these thoughts were in my head and I needed to get them down somewhere. You know they'll end up on a scrapbook page someday ... oooh, in my new Christmas Decoration album!

To all of you who may have to go out in a winter storm today ... be safe and good luck! To those of you lucky enough to stay home ... have a cup of hot cocoa by the tree for me!

3 comments:

famille1999 said...

Not sucky, great post Nath! I hear you totally and I'm sending big hugs your way. Those old ornaments look exactly like mine. I just love them. I think I have the same teapot, maybe in another color LOL. I couldn't think of doing my christmas tree without including all those old ornaments gathered from my mom and grandmother as well as those from Pat's side of the family. For me, they hold as much memories and tradition that I want the girls to see in the newer ones that we are gathering yearly for them to cherish as keepsakes of their childhood christmas. You should have seen me the year the tree fell and many of those heirloom broke... It's like part of my childhood just got lost. :( Cherish them and the fond memories that come with them. :)

Barb said...

Christmas brings up lots of childhood memories, and I would guess that you're not the only one who had to learn the hard way that there's no way we can do it ALL at Christmas... and that it will always be wonderful, even if all your baked goods are store-bought. :)

xo Barb

Samantha said...

I think Christmas is such a mish mash of emotions for so many. You have so many great memories, and so many plans to make new ones and then it's so hard when your missing family members that are no longer there to share it with you in person. Your post was heartfelt and I'm sure your mom is looking down with pride that you appriciate everything she was and are still your own person, exactly the way it should be. Your tree is beautiful.